HOTPOLY vs Feeld: what we built differently, and why

If you're polyamorous or ethically non-monogamous, you've probably used Feeld. I built HOTPOLY after using the big apps myself, and I designed it around the things that bothered me most: not knowing who was real, not knowing where my data went, and a pricing model that worked against me. Here's how the two compare, feature by feature. I built one of them, so read accordingly, but every claim below is one you can check.

At a glance

Verification you can actually see

Everyone on HOTPOLY confirms they are 18 or older with a live selfie before they can see a single profile. Nobody browses, likes, matches or appears in anyone's feed until that's done.

Photo verification goes a step further than any check I know of on Feeld. Government ID > live selfie > profile photos: Didit verifies the ID, AI matches the ID photo to your live selfie, and AI then matches that selfie to your profile photos. Pass all three and your profile carries an ID Verified badge. HOTPOLY never keeps a copy of your ID. We keep only your verified selfie, so every photo you add later can be checked against it and the badge keeps meaning something.

Feeld now asks new sign-ups to confirm their age by live selfie or phone number. That confirms there's an adult behind the account. It doesn't confirm that the person in the photos is the person you'll meet. Catfishing and fake "couple" profiles are the complaint I hear most from people coming over from Feeld, and an ID-backed badge is the most direct answer there is.

Privacy by architecture, not by setting

Your location is blurred by a random offset before it's written to our database. We can't reveal your exact position because we never have it. Other members see an approximate distance and nothing more.

In late 2023, a Feeld update began showing members' real-time location names publicly. Feeld turned it off after the backlash. I'm sure it was a mistake, and that's exactly the point: a mistake like that is only possible when the exact data exists to leak. On HOTPOLY it doesn't.

The same thinking applies to tracking. There are no advertising or third-party analytics SDKs inside the HOTPOLY app, we don't sell data, and the website uses two strictly necessary cookies that keep you signed in. Who you like, who you match with and what you say in chat stays between you, the other person and our servers. An independent 2024 audit of Feeld's Android app found fourteen third-party tracking SDKs, including advertising and attribution networks, and Feeld's App Store listing discloses that your data may be used to track you across other companies' apps.

Pricing that isn't working against you

Most dating apps make more money the longer you stay single and swiping. I wrote about this in Why I built HOTPOLY: I'd rather you subscribe for a month or two, meet the people you're looking for, and tell your friends.

So the core of HOTPOLY is free and I haven't made it deliberately frustrating to push you toward paying. Profile, discovery, matching and messaging all cost nothing. Premium is one flat price, $9.99 a month on the web or $12.99 a month in the Android app, and it covers the things that genuinely cost money to provide: seeing who Hot'd your photos, Smart Sort, the ID Verified badge, and weekly Temporary Location changes. Cancel any time. There are no boosts, no coin packs, and no "one more thing" to buy.

Feeld's Majestic membership is a subscription whose price varies by country and is only shown inside the app, with extras like Pings sold on top.

Designed for polyamory, not adapted to it

On HOTPOLY, how you do relationships is a first-class part of your profile. Solo poly, relationship anarchy, hierarchical, kitchen-table, parallel and more are options you choose and other people can see at a glance, not words you squeeze into a bio and hope someone reads. Whether you're dating as an individual, with a partner, or as a whole polycule, there's a place for that on your profile.

Partner linking lets you link to all of your partners in your polycule, each by relationship type, so the people who matter are visible on your profile and nobody has to guess who's involved. It's optional, and it works for any structure, not just couples.

Profiles also carry the books and board games you love. "What are you reading?" starts a better conversation than "what are you into?", and it tells you more about a person.

Discovery that rewards being yourself

Matching is mutual: nobody can message you until you've both said yes. Beyond that, HOTPOLY has a few ideas you won't find on Feeld.

Hot votes on individual photos. Members can vote on the photos they like, not just the profile. You can see which of your photos are landing, auto-sort your gallery by what's working, and with Premium see exactly who Hot'd them.

Smart Sort. Premium members see their Discover feed ordered by who is most likely to match with them, based on how members have actually responded to each other, not on who paid for a boost that day.

Temporary Location. Traveling? Browse from where you're going before you get there. Every member can set a temporary location; Premium lets you change it weekly.

Safety tools that do something

Every profile has block and report. Blocking removes someone from your feed and prevents any future contact, in both directions. Reports go to a human review team, not a filter.

You can go undiscoverable at any time without deleting anything, download a copy of your data whenever you want, and delete your account in one step from the app or the website.

Use it on every device you own

HOTPOLY runs as an Android app, as a full-screen app on your iPhone Home Screen (open hotpoly.org in Safari, tap Share, then Add to Home Screen), and as a complete web app in any browser. Same account, same matches, same conversations, whether you're on your phone or your laptop. Feeld is phone-only.

Try it

HOTPOLY is free to join at hotpoly.org or on Google Play. If you try it and something's missing, tell me through the feedback form in the app. I read every one, and members are shaping what gets built next.